Bad Behaviour Starts With A Bottle

I'm never drinking again. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, ever.

Maybe a glass of wine with dinner, or perhaps something nice to sip. But full on college-style? Nope. Not only am I 31 years old now - far too old to act so young - but my body and mind can't recover so well. What part of our brain goes off when it gets duped by alcohol? I mean, really. Must be some part that has to do with good judgment or maturity.

It's not really the drinking part that I have a a problem with per se - some people can enjoy the buzz and keep it all together. It's not the crazy sick feeling the next day - that definitely is a downer but can be tolerated with the memory of a really fun night. It's really the painful immaturity that overtakes me after a few that I can't handle the day after. I become an attention-crazy rendition of those girls I could never stand at bars. Or I become biting and sarcastic (more so than usual), alienating more than I probably even know about.

Either way, the outcome sucks.

We had a party last night - a little last hurrah for the wonderful company that used to be. A few years of nostalgia fuelled the cameraderie, and a few weeks of bitterness drove us to push the alcoholic envelope within a short period of time. We were gagging for it - a little release. I must say we did a superior job of making the office look like a historic slum... the carpets reek of beer, there are remnants of ash from various unnamed combustible substances peppered throughout the boardrooms, enough empties to start our own recycling plant, and unidentifiable foodstuffs ground in by so many heels. Classy. What's really overwhelming, though, is the musty, nauseating stench of old beer and sweaty smoke. Sick.

I recall a few activities that are really tearing at my heart strings, including wine bongs, beer chugging competitions, pole dancing on a door frame and so many terrible, embarrassing conversations. I may never regain my dignity. At least not in my mind. I understand everyone was on their game and had a few such moments, but I'm personally responsible for my own and feel quite disappointed to have let it all hang out. I was rewarded by a migraine and extreme fatigue today because of course when I got home I couldn't sleep from the spins. I think I watched an episode of Junk Brothers where they renovated a bed frame to make a bench but it had this really strange big mirror thing on the back and I found it really confusing. I found the instructions to make my instant soup pretty confusing as well so I guess that's saying something.

Anyway, from here on in it's sobriety and a stable exercise regime. No more college antics, no more hangovers. Straight and narrow, in shape, lots of sleep.

Right.